Spirited Adventurer

Ever had one of those things happen to you, and afterwards you think – did that just happen to me?

One night, while I was waiting for my train to arrive when I had a blind man ‘dropped’ off by one of his work colleagues on the Platform next to me. I had overheard that he was waiting on the same train as I was and I knew that I just had to help him get on the train. I mean this is peak hour and I had no idea how he would get on the train otherwise (like he hadn’t done it every other day of his life!!) So clearly it was going to be my good deed for the day.

Now I have to clarify that it wasn’t that I didn’t want to help him. Just that I was feeling self-conscious about what people would think if I walked away from him.

So as the train was approaching I said ‘Are you catching the next train?’ as though I hadn’t been eavesdropping or sweating on having to help him. At that one simple question he grabbed my elbow (as many vision impaired people do), and started to introduce himself. Let’s just call this gentleman Ben for the sake of the story. (‘Trust me to get a Blind man who loves a chat!’ was my first thought). So I introduced myself.

It was just like playing the ‘pregnant lady’ card when the train pulled up. I pushed my way through the mob, with ‘Excuse me- Blind man here, people’ (actually I didn’t say that but with the tone I took I may as well have).

So he sat in the vestibule area (the open part of the train near the door for those of you non-seasoned train travellers). And then the games began.

Ben was very chatty and whilst he chatted he would play with my hand. Not in any dirty way, but he ran his hands over mine as he talked. Now it wasn’t necessarily awkward, and as I didn’t get that ‘irky’ feeling, but I was aware that this was ‘funny’ and was becoming self-conscious because of onlookers. So I did the only thing I thought was appropriate, I kept chatting as though nothing was happening and asked Ben whether he had been born blind.

We discussed his life, and I provided some details about my life. Okay maybe I changed a few details – you never know who was listening in that train (maybe saying I was a Nobel Prize winning author was a bit far fetched but hey when you’re on a roll….)
So I thought maybe Blind people do that – feel the hand of the person they are talking to, and maybe that was their way of ‘looking’ and getting to know the person. If that isn’t the case then I he was trying to crack onto me J

It was interesting hearing how he now worked, and started at a school for kids with disabilities but in highschool was integrated in a ‘normal’ highschool which he preferred much more.

And Ben had an uncanny way of knowing when his station was approaching, and could tell me exactly where we were as the train slowed down. He was spot on every time. I started testing him to see how good he was.(why not?? Train trips are normally so boring).

It was almost freeing to have a conversation with someone so openly, especially someone I had just met. And I didn’t speak with him because he was Blind, (although the fact that he kept playing with my hand meant that I couldn’t walk away discretely) this guy was really friendly. And I suppose the conversation and the ‘touchy feely’ stuff made him feel comfortable.

To imagine that for many of us we would be out of our comfort zone with the conversation and physical contact, and that he would be out of his comfort zone without it!

And yes, if you are wondering I did ask him if he watched the football and did you see….etc. I didn’t even realise at the time, only after Ben had left the train. I am not sure that he even realised.

Then when Ben got up to get off the train the weirdest thing happened. We gave each other a kiss on the cheek goodbye and acknowledged that our paths may never cross again. Weird hey. But it seemed the most natural thing in the world. Like we were old friends saying goodbye – but I had met this guy just 20 minutes ago. Now a guy who could see would never have been allowed to be so forward with me I am sure.

Once he left I sat down and thought ‘that was a really weird experience’. And once again to qualify that comment, not weird in an ‘uncomfortable threatening way’, just one of those once in a lifetime experience.

It had me question what concessions I had given him because of his ‘disability’. It was a really interesting experience.

And I haven’t seen Ben since. But I am sure he is chatting to other people on the rail system every day!